As you all know by now, I work with recoverees several days a week, and as I listen to their stories, I realize that one of the commonalities has to do with feelings of unworthiness. I know people who were introduced to sticking a needle in their arm by their parents, while they were in middle school. I know many who were sexually assaulted, raped and molested as children. I know a whole bunch who were raised in abusive foster home situations. And the curious, not to mention sad, reality is that many of these same people who were victimized at a young age feel somehow that they are unworthy of a stable, whole life as adults because they feel somehow complicitous in the abuses of their past. They believe they are unworthy of anything good, and if they don’t find a way to confront this irrational belief, they will probably relapse. They will probably not find recovery; they will probably die.
The issue of worthiness comes up in all our lives as we wonder, mostly unconsciously, if we really deserve success, love, happiness and every other good thing. In the end, though, it all comes down to one thing: our willingness to claim our space in this life as children of a God who loves us unconditionally AND who has made us, in Christ, sharers of God’s divinity. When we humble ourselves and simply accept our divinity, we no longer question whether we are worthy, because we know that we are meant to be here to fulfill a particular purpose, a purpose that no one else can achieve.
There isn’t anyone smarter, prettier, taller, healthier or wealthier who can possibly step in and take over living our lives. No one else has had the experiences we have had—the good and the bad. There is no one else who has access to the same resources, relationships and perspectives we have, and therefore, there is no one who can carry our message to a waiting world. Our purpose may be large or small, but I suspect that it tends to have various levels, with important actions and effects on people, as well as small acts of simple kindness that serve to feed others on their journey to accepting the truth about themselves. Small acts of gratitude share the stage with large acts of sacrifice, and only through accepting and honoring our divine nature in Christ can we know what we are called to do and when.
The bottom line is that regardless of our personal histories, regardless of how people have treated us, regardless of how deeply we have been wounded, we are all equally, exactly, and completely worthy of every good thing according to God’s plan. Moreover, we are all essential to the unfolding plan of God’s Kingdom, where each of us has an important role. If we have times of doubting our worth, it’s because we have forgotten this profound truth. Seeing ourselves as part of something larger, as children of God called to serve, is the ultimate cure for feelings of unworthiness. In the end, it’s not about evaluating ourselves as worthy or unworthy, so much as it’s about accepting that we have been called here to serve those whom God sends us. All we need to do is to listen and then respond to what God is asking us to do.
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